Letters from the Co-Editors (Eva Wu ’20)

|| By: Eva Wu ’20 ||

One week left of high school, and all I can think about is how the Class of 2019 called themselves the “cursed class” because they didn’t get a bonfire during L’Ville Weekend. That was really funny.

If I were on campus right now, I would feel so overwhelmed by nostalgia and melancholy when, really, I am just scared to leave a familiar environment and feel uncertain about my future. I can’t lie to myself that at high school I didn’t have nights when I lay in my bed but wished I was somewhere else, or moments when I felt the world was so small that it just wasn’t enough space to include me. High school was great, but it’s not the best four years of my life (but good for the people who use that phrase), and I’m glad it’s over. Because when I spent my senior spring away from Hill, as frustrating as it is, I feel so much calmer about graduating, so prepared for and excited about college. There’s nothing wrong with feeling excited about leaving Hill, and we should be because the future we’ve been dreaming about is right in front of us. An unexpected pandemic has gotten us all prepared to say our last goodbyes before we even knew it.  

It was also during the past two months of my solitude  that I understood why Hill can be so difficult to leave. I realized how much I miss being surrounded by friends, mentors, and the loved ones whom I now must part ways with. And for that I am grateful for Hill. I will miss dancing to Taylor Swift’s songs (only the old ones) with my roommate and being asked to turn down the speaker (sorry Annika and Juliana); I will miss shutting off the lights and jumping into my bed as soon as I heard a dorm parent turning my doorknob after lights-out; I will miss the intimidation whenever I sneezed in Doc Malone’s classroom and the urge to look for a tissue box. I will miss having all the conversations with friends and teachers that made me feel there are so many more books to read, brilliant people to talk to, and so much more of this world to see. But I also know that our relationships won’t end just because my time at Hill has. I know that these people will be the first ones I go visit when this is all over. I miss those moments at Hill, but I am also excited to meet up with my friends in NYC with no check-in or lights-out. I am excited to return to Hill as a more mature student who actually has the right to discuss a piece of writing with Doc Malone or Dr. Lake. If this was a commencement in any other year, I would be so devastated by the idea of leaving these people. But as I write down this letter, I am away, waiting to reunite with and give hugs to the ones I love. And for that I feel blessed.