“I felt worthless,” recounted Sahibdip Saini 18’ last October during his chapel talk as he shared his journey of traversing hardships at Hill with the student body. A four-year boarder from New Jersey, he spoke candidly and succinctly of the depression in which he found himself mired in 4th form year, as well as the methods he had used to remedy his situation.

Sahibdip’s story is not a unique one on this campus; a quick look at the chapel talks presented in the past two academic years shows an alarming reoccurrence of mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety, as the topic for epistolary speeches, anecdotes, and advices alike. At the frequency with which 6th formers have chosen this particular subject to impart their wisdom to underformers, could it be that these talks, implicitly or explicitly, constitute both a call for help and for recognition within the community?

To Emma Wright ’18, who delivered a chapel talk about overcoming depression earlier this January, it depends. She stated, “I think that it’s different for each one [chapel talk]. There are some where you can tell that the person speaking is not actually okay, that is when it is a cry for help. For others, it’s seen as a dark part in their life that they will never go back to. You can tell the difference when listening to them.”

When asked about the current climate at Hill regarding mental health and wellness, while Sahibdip saw that the Hill community already recognizes and discusses mental health regularly, Emma disagreed. In her view, there is not enough oversight on the part of faculty advisors and peers alike; she described that when her roommate was expelled during the 2015-2016 academic year, her dorm parent never brought it up to her, nor did she inquire whether Emma was okay in the following weeks.

It is important to note that there exists an official network of peer counselors that works in tandem with other resources on campus, and this system is organized by the Counseling Office in order to address the needs of the student body. When asked about the use of these resources, both Emma and Sahibdip told me that they had never used them, due to a reluctance to appear dependent upon others, as well as an unwillingness to admit to themselves and to others “that there was something wrong,” as per Emma’s words.

Celeste Owusu ’18, a member of the Peer Counseling group, saw the group as another avenue through which support can be offered. With initiatives such as Life Skills, Circle of Trust, and Peer Tutoring, this group provides both academic and social support to all students that requires it. However, the lack of initiative from students has placed a limit on the efficiency of this system; as Celeste explained it, aside from the mandatory Life Skills sessions for 3rd formers, there is no realistic way for all peer counselor to offer support to everyone in need. Furthermore, the social repercussions from seeking help may also prove a deterrent to many, since the members of Hill’s community perceive mental illnesses with various levels of empathy and compassion, some fewer than others.

This is certainly not a localized problem: an estimated 3.1 million adolescents aged 12 to 17 in the United States had experienced at least one major depressive episode, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, and the worldwide conversations to find a solution have grown in the past few years. From Emma’s point of view, the solution lies in discourse, outreach, and intervention. “When a kid is depressed, the signs are there. It just depends on who is actually paying attention [to them],” she explained.

As the winter continues to grow colder and students retreat even further into themselves, it would be worthwhile for every member of the community to pay attention to those around them, as well as participate in the conversations on this topic. Only when the community bands together can Hill emerge unscathed at the beginning of spring.