Ah, yes, we have officially reached the dead of winter. What better time to talk of love to warm the frigid hearts of the masses? Certainly, love is in the air, and the disappointment of people not in relationships can be palpable, but do not dismay! Being single can be a blast if you know what you’re doing.

While the couples on campus canoodle, you can enjoy your ramen noodles in peace. Let the lovers loaf while you focus on bettering yourself. Rejoice in the freedom of being able to comfortably nestle against yourself without having your arm fall asleep under your significant other. Also, just imagine the billions of germs you would be exchanging if you so much as held hands with another human being. The thought alone, truly, is enough to make you want to compulsively wash your hands. Microbes aside, let’s be honest; cuddling is overrated unless there are dogs or penguins involved.

After all, love has – generally – only caused problems for most people. Adele, Anakin Skywalker, Taylor Swift, Othello, Macbeth… and pretty much every other tragic Shakespearean protagonist just to name a few. While being in a relationship may seem appealing from the outside, remember, like the great André 3000 said in Hey Ya!, “But separate’s always better when there’s feelings involved” Queue the synth and lyrical voice-crack.

Seeing a relationship is like a goldfish, looking out of its glass bowl and into the outside world. No matter how bad you (or that fish) want to be there, you would probably die if you somehow got what you were hoping for. Yay, nihilistic cynicism! Sure, it can be terribly lonely and cold this time of year when you don’t have an obligatory social contract to cuddle with someone, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. Hey, maybe you’ll find a dog or a stray penguin to cuddle with for warmth.

Anyway, when summer comes around, and you’re going back to Small Town, USA and they’re going back to Elsewhere, USA or overseas for that ‘real spiffy internship program,’ saying goodbye won’t be as hard because you never had anything to lose in the first place.