For many Netflix subscribers, July 30 felt like Christmas morning. All over social media, impatient creators (lacking original ideas) made videos and posts expressing their excitement for the new season of “Outer Banks.” It was quasi-impossible to go on TikTok without hearing the show’s theme song or main heartthrob John B saying, “The Outer Banks, paradise on Earth …” Strap in everyone. Because, with hype like this, you know the show will live up to expectations. Warning: spoilers ahead.

The show “Outer Banks” is set in what is allegedly the real world; the main difference being the characters are all stuck in a permanent VSCO filter. Throughout the whole show the “appropriately aged actors” are living life without parental guidance, without school requirements, and seemingly without the ability to change out of their sweaty tank tops more than once every few episodes. 

The season begins with permanent underdog John B and his wealthy ex-rival turned girlfriend Sarah Cameron (never seen that trope before, right?) washing up in the Bahamas. Everyone back home in the Outer Banks assumed the two died in a terrible storm; but, as you learn after watching only a few episodes of this creative opus, no one truly dies. The characters must be invincible, surviving gunshot wounds, multiple strangulations, car crashes, drownings, kidnappings, alligators, and a whole manner of blunt traumas that would be enough to take out a mortal. But these aren’t your average people, mind you. These are the Pogues. 

And somehow, almost nobody ever gets caught doing anything wrong!  The ruthless bad guys can’t be defeated — not by the law, not by their own failures, and certainly not because of those scrappy Pogues. Let’s begin by talking about dreamboat villain Raif Cameron. I know many of you young ladies out there find it hard to root against his baby blues, but newsflash — that dude is bad news! He tried to kill his own sister! He killed the sheriff and framed John B! And let’s be real here, his haircut isn’t great either. His dad Ward isn’t much better. He uses the same tacky excuse of family ties to justify all sorts of violent criminality. Charm and good looks only gets you so far when you’re straight up evil. 

So, if you’re looking for a show where everyone dies twice, changes their shirt once, and commits countless felonies and general suspect activities without ever getting caught, then “Outer Banks” is the right show for you! Or maybe you should just read a book.