I remember back to the first email I drafted to [email protected] during the beginning of my fifth form year at Hill. I was going through a lot emotionally, which many external factors were playing a role in, and did not know how to properly give those emotions a healthy outlet. I perpetuated my habit of internalizing my issues by procrastinating sending the email to sign up for counseling. When I would do that, I would then make myself feel dumb for stressing over a simple email that could read, “Hello, I would like to sign up for counseling, thank you.” This cycle continued for quite a while until I finally hit “send” months later. 

Once I started, I found it hard to open up at first. It felt strange to discuss my personal issues with an adult who did not know me at all, and that contributed to my discomfort. On top of this, I gaslit myself by degrading my mental health issues and what I was going through because I believed that so many people had it worse than me. 

It can be very challenging to prioritize your mental health at a place like Hill. From 8 a.m. to 9:30 p.m., we are asked to balance academics, athletics, extracurriculars, and social life to the best of our ability. By the end of each day, we are exhausted and simply want to slip into bed, but usually cannot due to other tasks we did not have time to fit into our busy schedule. This makes us fall into a cycle of neglect to take care of ourselves. This can be detrimental not only to mental health, but physical health as well. I felt the negative effects of this demanding lifestyle and found myself lost in a sea of stress and anxiety.

In my experience, Hill’s innate values of success and hard work, although beneficial in many ways, also contributed to the decline of my mental wellbeing. As a third former, I did not understand how to manage my time, commitments, and needs well enough to keep my head above water. Although I am better at this now being a sixth former, I am still trying to figure out ways to balance every aspect of my life when it seems like there is so little time in the day. Some ways I practice self-care are journaling, dancing, talking to friends and family, and listening to music. Allowing a set amount of time per day designated to taking care of yourself and truly indulging in the things that make you feel happy can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life.

Coming back to Hill this spring will be challenging for many of us, so I encourage you to utilize the resources that are presented to us in order to preserve your mental health, such as counseling, spending time with friends, doing afternoon activities that you actually enjoy, etc. In an environment where mental health might be low on your priority list among academics, athletics, and more, try to give your mind the same care that you give every other aspect of life. If you or someone you know is struggling, contact [email protected], and remember that there is always someone that wants to listen. Don’t hesitate to hit “send” the way I did.

Additional Resources: 

[email protected]

SAMH on Instagram: @mentalhealthathill