The Hill News

SATIRE: A literary review of the student handbook

By David Slavtcheff '24, Staff Writer • December 14, 2023

The Bible is widely regarded as one of the most influential books in human history. It, and any of its renditions, have built nations, destroyed civilizations, and altered the course of humanity’s evolution. The...

What’s so funny about Black History Month?

By Tofe Akinyanmi ’23, Multimedia Editor • April 13, 2023

Black History Month, like so many other things, has become a joke. Of course, black people commonly joke about it, but when the joke spreads, so does the irreverence fueling it. So what does the month...

Satire: The Hill School rings in the return of the Chapel bells

By Melody Chen ’22 and Olivia Mofus ’22 • May 20, 2021

As Edgar Allen Poe writes in his poem The Bells, “To the rolling of the bells— Of the bells, bells, bells— To the tolling of the bells, Of the bells, bells, bells, bells— Bells, bells, bells—”,...

SATIRE: Top three Valentine’s Day activities

By Melody Chen '22, Staff Writer • February 8, 2021

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and many are wondering how to approach this winter staple in our current conditions. After all, in this snowy season, what better to warm the frozen hearts of the...

SATIRE: We are your cells, and we approve this message

By Melody Chen '22, Staff Writer • October 16, 2020

One morning, two neurons convene at the breakfast table to discuss matters of duties. “I don’t believe I’ll go to work, this time around,” one neuron begins, sipping his coffee. “I just...

Cuffing season

By Taylor Owens • January 10, 2020

I would like to preface this article by saying that I did not conceptualize it. I only like to write articles on the real threats and mysteries of our community, such as the OSS. But, I am here so there...